Healing Prayer Counseling and an Identity of True Sonship

healing prayer counselingJack lives in a one-room apartment in a poor neighborhood. He never knew his parents and for as long as he can remember has fended for himself. Lacking a proper education and any social advantage, he becomes an unskilled worker slaving away in a factory, where he earns a meager salary.

One day, Jack receives a letter informing him that his birth father had been seeking him for a very long time and had only found him shortly before his death. Soon he receives a visit from the lawyer who is executing his father’s will. Jack has been given a substantial inheritance in the form of a lifetime annuity. Thereafter, Jack begins to receive one check a month, each one worth more than he could earn in five years at the factory.

However, Jack never changes his lifestyle. Every time a check arrives in the mail, he just puts it in his drawer, not fully grasping what he has. A few times he thinks about taking one of those checks to the bank to see if he might borrow some money against it. Jack’s only friend, a jealous co-worker at the factory, advises him not to do that saying “Why would you even try? You’ll never have more than you have now. Besides, the bank will probably throw you out the minute they see the way you’re dressed. Don’t even bother.” Fear and insecurity cause Jack to heed the man’s words.

Do You Identify as a Spiritual Orphan?

Many Christians are living like Jack. Though they are heirs, with full rights as sons and daughters, they still believe in their hearts that they are slaves or servants and live accordingly. They are “rich paupers,” spiritual orphans.

Do you see yourself as a spiritual orphan? That is, you know in your head that God is your Father in heaven, but you cannot really see yourself as a partaker of His riches and all that His kingdom has to offer. Spiritual orphans do not know the love, the safety, and the provision of the Father experientially. They feel they have no place of affirmation, protection, comfort, belonging, or affection. They have to strive, achieve, compete, and earn everything they get in life.

But those who have a spirit of sonship have a deep experiential knowledge that God is their Father who loves them and provides for them. They know that they belong to the God who owns the cattle on a thousand hills; they know that they are fully loved and fully accepted; and most of all they know that their inheritance in the kingdom doesn’t depend on their performance but on their relationship. This experience of significance and safety gives them a deep sense of identity.

Jesus was the first to show us what true sonship looks like: He was 100% plugged into the Father and took His cue for everything that He did from His Father. It is God’s will that we be imitators of His Son in every way (Ephesians 5:1) and that we, too, should have this spirit of sonship (Romans 8:14; Romans 9:26; 2 Corinthians 6:18; Galatians 3:26; Galatians 4:5-7).

Healing Prayer Counseling Leads to a Spirit of Sonship

The Christian life is all about relationships: with God, with ourselves and with others. We will only be successful in our Christian life to the degree that we are successful in those relationships. That success is largely tied to what John and Paula Sandford of Elijah House Ministries call basic trust. Basic trust is the capacity to hold our hearts open to others even if they wound us. We find the ability to bounce back and recover quickly from pain through basic trust.

In his book Living from the Heart Jesus Gave You, Jim Friesen calls this the ability to “return to joy.” This is possible because no matter what the circumstance we never lose the sense that we are okay. We know in the deepest part of our hearts that there is someone who is overjoyed that we simply exist—Father God, the one who loves us unconditionally—and that we do not have to do anything to earn that positive regard.

Feeling like a spiritual orphan or slave is one of the greatest hindrances to walking in expressed love, intimacy, and in healthy relationships because those who have this spirit have never developed basic trust. This is a result of poor nurture and unresolved woundedness. We have imperfect sonship because we have had imperfect fathering. Some of us have “type A” wounds—the absence of good things—because as children we did not get what we needed. Type A wounds leave gaping holes in our lives that are hard to identify because they cannot be seen. Even worse, some of us have had “type B” wounds—bad things happening to us—which are easier to identify because they can be seen. The unhealed trauma resulting from both of these types of wounds influences our external behavior, which is a reflection of what is in the heart.

We must have basic trust restored in order to feel secure enough to receive the love that we need to heal our wounded hearts. The more love and comfort we are able to receive, the less fearful we are of opening our hearts to intimate, loving relationships. The more willing we are to let go of our need to suppress our childhood pain and to control our emotions, the more we can open our hearts to receive the Father’s healing love and to walk in true intimacy with others.

The spirit of sonship is not a garment to be put on. It is a change of heart so deep that it brings change to our habits. We know our identity is in the Father’s love, and it becomes the desire of our hearts to do everything we can to see others’ vision and calling fulfilled. The Christian life as Jesus modeled it for us becomes reality as we experience healing prayer counseling and enter into healthy relationships with one another.

Using Healing Prayer Counseling to Know Your True Identity

God will not rest until we are conformed to the image of His Son. By His Holy Spirit He is constantly urging us to know the truth: we are not slaves, we are sons (and daughters). He is using everything in our lives to bring us into true sonship. We call that hardship; He calls it discipline.

Hebrews 12:7: Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? 

In his book Fathered by God, Steve Bydeley explains the difference between punishment and discipline:
“…punishment [is] a discomfort done to a person, while discipline is a discomfort done for a person. We punish as a payment for wrong behavior while we discipline to encourage a change in behavior. Punishment is a fixed quantity that, when completed, ends, leaving the person to do as he chooses. Discipline is a variable quantity that continues to be given, and possibly increased, until the person changes.” (Page 4, emphasis mine)

God will expose the motives of your heart; He will allow things to come into your life that will push your buttons. You may suffer the consequences of your choices or He may even let hardship remain in your life, as He did with Job. Ultimately, He wants you to learn to react as a son, not as a slave.

Knowing Your Identity, Possessing Your Birthright

What is a birthright? The dictionary says that it is a right or privilege that you are entitled to at birth.

We are heirs to the Kingdom of God by birth—spiritual birth! His plan from the beginning of time has been for us to inherit with Christ. That inheritance involves dominion on the earth, the dominion that Adam lost in the garden and that Jesus regained by His death and resurrection. When we have a spirit of sonship we can exercise the authority that we obtained when we gave our hearts to Jesus Christ.

In addition, as mature sons and daughters, the Father gives us true freedom. He allows us to “apply” for many different things in life but the choice is ours. Will we choose the best, or will we settle for something less?

Dominion, authority and choice are all part of our birthright, which we cannot claim unless we have a spirit of sonship.

Healing Prayer Counseling Helps Us Move From Slavery to Sonship

Through prayer counseling, we receive healing for the Type A and Type B traumas that we have suffered. Through the application of the blood, the cross, and the resurrection life of our Lord Jesus Christ to deep wounds and practices in our hearts, we are set free to walk in newness of life. We are delivered from a spirit of slavery and we can begin to behave like sons and daughters of the most high God.

As we accept the truth of God’s unconditional love for us we see ourselves the way He sees us, neither lifted up nor abased, but rightly esteemed, and valued because of His great love for us. We experience true intimacy with Father God and the abundant life in Christ that overflows and enriches all of our relationships. We are now able to find and fulfill our calling in life.

Full sonship is God’s intended destiny for each of us. Will you open your heart to His healing and His love?


Ready to continue this journey? You can make your appointment for healing prayer counseling today. Email us at info@findinghomeinstitute.org (preferred) or call (571) 393-1278. We will respond in no later than 1 business day.

Explore Further Resources on Your Identity in Christ and Sonship:

Fathered by God: Book by Steve Bydeley

Life Model: Living from the Heart Jesus Gave You: Book by James G. Friesen et al.

Slavery to Sonship: Two-part article by Jack and Trisha Frost (Scroll down to “Orphan Heart/Sonship” section)

Slavery to Sonship: Video series on YouTube by Arthur Burk

Sonship vs. Slavery: Sermon by Jessie Mejias

Spirit of Slavery vs Spirit of Sonship: Article by Arthur Burk

The Father’s Love Letter: Read, watch, or listen to a Message from God to you

Walking in Sonship:  CD series by Arthur Burk